End of Relationship
A Pride Ceremonies® End of Relationship Ceremony
recognises that the end of a relationship, regardless of
who made the choice, and, while a difficult transition
is also an opportunity for growth. The ceremony
validates the past and honours the future. It can,
therefore, be a very positive way to honour everything
that was good in the relationship, to recognise that it
was not a mistake even though things have now changed,
and pave the way for both parties to move forward on
their now-separate paths. It is therefore as much a
ceremony of release as it is an acknowledgement of
separation. It helps cleanse past negativity, declares
your independence, and promotes acceptance. It does so
by marking a significant change: release from deep
commitment to the former partner.
The ceremony is specifically designed to intentionally
transform the experience into a stepping stone. It
assists in dis-identification as a partner, declares
your intention to reweave your life into something new
and spotlights your personal path forward by means of a
formal ceremony in which you close the door on the old,
and, with support of family and friends,
acknowledge and celebrate your new status.
Single-partner ceremonies can be healing, and these
constitute over half of the end of relationship
ceremonies held. However, the ideal ceremony is one
where both parties are present. Not only is there great
potential for positive closure in this latter form, it
can also be extremely helpful in calming fears and
assuaging guilt of the children of the relationship as
it can help them understand that while their parents
have agreed not to live together, they are not being
abandoned, that they are loved by both parents and that
the breakdown of the relationship is not their fault.
While your Divorce Ceremony or End of Relationship
Ceremony can include elements of "uncommitment" but it
is not, per se, the reverse of your Marriage Ceremony or
of your Commitment Ceremony.
The ceremony will include both acknowledgement and
releasing of the past as well as formal releasing of
yourself and one another from the relationship.
It is critical that, underlying your divorce,
separation, or end of relationships ceremony is built on
a very deep and comprehensive understanding of the
psychological processes involved. More than any other
type of ceremony it is essential that you choose a
celebrant who is skilled as a celebrant, committed to
ensuring that your ceremony is healing and positive, and
who has a deep understanding of the psychological harm
that can be done by an inadequate ceremony and by the
process of developing the ceremony.
I hold a degree in Psychology, and in depth experience
of the needs of separating couples together with
high-levels skills and experience as a celebrant.
Jennifer Cram is a highly sought
after Brisbane-based celebrant who conducts touching
end-of-relationship ceremonies. She says properly
performed ceremonies have a deep, spiritual content,
which steer the emotions away from self-recrimination
to a celebration of growth and learning...
Ever Parted: Surviving Separation and Divorce
by Bronwyn Marquandt. Sydney: New Holland, 2006, pp